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Stop for a second and think about your life. Think about your job/ career, friends, achievements, and materialistic things you have. How did you get them? Do you think you got that promotion because the person who should have been selected left the job? Or do you think you just got lucky? Do you think the boss felt bad for you because they know you have a child on the way? Or do you think you deserved that raise? If you think you got that raise because of luck, by chance, or because the person who was “better” at the job couldn’t do it for one reason or another, keep reading. The rest of the information might sound more and more like you, as we dive deeper into what imposter syndrome is.
Imposter syndrome is when a person feels pressured to succeed. It’s when a person who excels at their work, career-wise or academically, questions their abilities, or the reason why they received good grades or did great work.
You ultimately believe that you are not as good, or are as competent at what you do, as people say you are. In your eyes, you don’t belong where you are because you’re not good enough, or “that” good. You believe your achievements are linked to luck, not to your skills or characteristics, and sometimes you end up over-extending yourself by working even harder.
If you think about it, we have all probably felt this way before. We might not ultimately have imposter syndrome, but we have felt like maybe our efforts aren’t enough. We have felt that maybe we don’t have what it takes to get the job done, and someone might find out that we’re a fraud and not capable of what they thought we could do. When this happens, we sometimes start to overachieve. We put pressure on ourselves to aim for perfection or excellent quality work at all times. Anything less isn’t good enough. Even if someone else thinks our work was excellent, we always think that we could have done better. By doing this, we minimize our worth. We minimize our accomplishments and beat ourselves up for making a mistake.
It’s important to note that imposter syndrome can manifest at varying stages of people’s lives. However, it is especially evident in persons who come from a family where a great value was placed on achieving. It can also be triggered if someone has started to achieve a new goal in their life, or is facing new challenges, career paths, and situations that they don’t necessarily feel ready to handle.
What can you do?
Imposter syndrome can be difficult to cope with, and it’s hard to move past some of the negative thoughts and feelings you have about yourself. Even though it can be hard, there are a few things you can start trying to do on your own to confront the beliefs you have about yourself, and work on some of the behaviors you have been performing:
1) Challenge your negative thoughts. Every time you have a negative thought about your worth, your work, or your skills, challenge those beliefs.
2) Write down your achievements, skills, and strengths. No matter how big or small your achievements may be, or how simple or complexed your skills and strengths may be, write them down. Remember what you have accomplished and acknowledge your worth and celebrate your accomplishments once in a while. YOU DESERVE IT!
3) Talk to a friend, mentor, family member, or someone you trust about how you have been feeling. Sometimes speaking to someone will help you boost your self-confidence and eliminate some of your negative thoughts.
4) Try not to compare yourself to others. If you compare yourself to the people around you or those who you deem “better” than you in some way, you will always feel inadequate. Focus on the skills, achievements, and qualities you possess. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH.
5) Write down realistic daily/ weekly to-do lists. If you fill your days with 100 tasks, you are bound to be disappointed if you don’t finish them all. Instead of writing down everything you need to do for the week and trying to do them all in one day, try writing down 5 things you need to get done per day instead. If you get even 1 item on your list done, that’s an accomplishment. Things will come up. Things will happen. Try not to be too hard on yourself if you don’t get everything done when, and how you wanted to.
The above suggestions are only a few activities you can start doing to work on confronting some of the negative beliefs you have about yourself and change some of your self-judging behaviors. This is just a start. Take a chance and start practicing some of these strategies one activity at a time. One day at a time.